Monday, February 22, 2010

I am a jerk

Way back in 2006, i'm furious with almost everything. I felt that there is nothing worth left in my life. I'm a totally loser and i believe that nothing is going to turn out right. Nothing good would ever happen on me again. I'm a living zombie. The only thing i'm good at is to drunk myself away from reality. I live like this for years. I make the peoples around me suffer to feel better. Throughout those years, the only person who stand by me and listened to my whining is 'her'. Always giving me advices, believing in me and always telling me not to stop believing in myself, always telling me that giving up is not the options.

She typed me an email which i still kept until this day. I just read it and yeah...i felt like a jerk now. I'm not a good friend.

"i know Gyee is a very special
girl...she used to be a very happy and cool girl...i think she's the
greatest girl i ever meet in my whole life...honestly,she's a very strong
girl and i knew it since the first time we talked to each other...u r always
the one that supports us,me and gracie..i remember that coz whenevr we are
not in the mood to study, the strong and happy gyee will fly all the
way around thw world and help us out...she's our life saver..and i shall
never forget it when the time u help me and gracie do revision for the
biology although u urself need to do urown revision but u still come and
helps us ...again..u r the angel of our heart...the point now is,i want to
see the old gyee..not the kind that is low spirit...and sad
looking girl..i know deep inside ur heart u r not that kinda person.."

"so,what u should do now is stand up and be
ur own real gyee, not the hiding tortoise...okay?? believe me..u can do
it..and i trust u...the most important thing is U MUST GET UR LIFE BACK!!

Well, that's part of the content. Growing up, i'm used to being alone and quiet. I don't speak much and is very shy around peoples but that doesn't means i don't have friends. I'd met quite a numbers of them but always NONE will remained long enough in my life. Whenever, the relationship start to blossom, there must be some incidents that stopped everything. It's always either he's moving, she's transferring, i'm moving, he's transferring or even the worst, 'death'. So slowly, i shut myself up and simply just think that it's not worth the effort to make friend with peoples anymore.

This post is dedicated to you. You know who you are. ^_^ Because i couldn't make it on time doesn't means that i do not treasure ours friendship. You are the best existence ever in my life, nono, the best existence should be save for my prince charming,, you're the best(infinite) friend i've ever met. You're moving on to a new good start so let's cherish the moment together and i wish you all the best in near future. I should have say this to you a long time ago, well i guess is not too late to say it now although it's not something i think i would do.

Bon Vayages like the French says. Yeah, i'm a jerk for breaking promises but i hope this will mend whatever i'd broken. Hehe....

Good luck~~~~


  1. yalo = = ...i watch one piece also know ~_~V



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